Blog

What goes through your head when you're at work and freaking out? Seriously? Have you ever tried to retrace a freak-out after the fact?

Sometimes it's nearly impossible to do.

It's a question I've asked myself time and time again. When I'm freaking out (crying uncontrollably, feeling trapped and claustrophobic, hardly able to move because I'm so exhausted from the emotional turmoil, a mind full of racing thoughts; I couldn't tell you what was going through my head during the panic attack. 

I don't understand this. Metacognition is the act of thinking about thinking. If I'm having a panic attack and I think about thinking why can't I list the topics or even repeat the words that are racing through my head?

My theory is because we are not thinking words at this point. I think we merely perceive that we are thinking words, but they are just feral emotions of fear and panic.

But in the eyes of the clinical community, avoidance isn't always the best practice. In fact, it falls under the category of maladaptive coping mechanisms. 

Nevertheless, suggestion No. 1:

1. Avoid feeling claustrophobic.

When I would be at work, a quarter of the way through a shift, I'd panic when I saw how much of the shift I had to get through before taking a breather and it would scare me.

It spiraled into thoughts of losing my apartment and being homeless, not being able to find/ keep another job with benefits that pays the bills.

Feral financial fear stemmed from not trusting myself to be able to get through a shift . There were times when I didn't feel like I'd be able to get out of the building fast enough before the walls closed in on me.

Instead, I wish I had avoided that feeling altogether. I wish I hadn't allowed myself to fall into such an ugly spiral of worry and worst case scenarios, but for the most case, that's the last thing I ever remember before the tears begin and true panic/ claustrophobia sets in.

2. Flex those limbs.

Walking has helped me in the past. Anxiety makes this really difficult. I have to be in a state of mind to feel confident enough to set out in an aimless walk in my neighborhood. 

Around here, you need to walk with purpose. Aside from the times when it's dangerous to be outside by myself, I often sit outside, stretch and take short walks to the mailbox when my nerves will let me. I'm sorry to say that happens more often than not even on the prettiest days and it adds to the depression.

3. Go see the daylight and get some fresh air if possible.

Outside saves the day again! Sunshine is really a wonderful thing! I find it helps me a lot, in moderation. If I sit outside too much, it burns my skin.😊